Indie Break-Up Songs for Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Loss and Grief

Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Loss and Grief are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

This sequence has been applied to the omnipresent break-up by Darci Gilbert, as referenced on Wikipedia via eHow (Gilbert, Darci. [www.ehow.com/how-does_4674267_stages-grief-apply-breakups.html "How Do the Stages of Grief Apply to Breakups?"] . eHow. Retrieved 13 April 2013.). If it's alternative/indie rock that helps you through, then like an awful pun involving bananas, the following selection may have appeal.


Denial

“The person getting broken up with is unable to admit that the relationship is really over. They may try to continue to call the person when that person wants to be left alone.”

“Yeah! Oh, Yeah!” by The Magnetic Fields

“By Your Side,” by CocoRosie

"Start Again," by Teenage Fanclub

Anger

"When the reality sets in that the relationship is over, it is common to demand to know why they are being broken up with. This phase can make them feel like they are being treated unfairly and it may cause them to become angry at people close to them who want to help aid the situation."

“Waiting for the Winter,” by The Popguns

"The One I Love," by REM

“You Oughta Know," by Alanis Morrissette

Bargaining
"After the anger stage, one will try to plead with their former partner by promising that whatever caused the breakup will never happen again. Example: 'I can change. Please give me a chance'."

“I Apologize,” by Husker Du

“Please Do Not Go,” by Violent Femmes

“Good Woman,” by Cat Power

Depression
"Next the person might feel discouraged that their bargaining plea did not convince their former partner to change their mind. This will send the person into the depression stage and can cause a lack of sleep, eating and even disrupt daily life tasks such as bowel movements."

“I Know It’s Over,” by The Smiths

“It’s Okay,” by Land of Talk

“Katy Song,” by Red House Painters

Acceptance

"Moving on from the situation and person is the last stage. The person accepts that the relationship is over and begins to move forward with their life. The person might not be completely over the situation but they are done going back and forth to the point where they can accept the reality of the situation."

“Here’s Where the Story Ends,” by The Sundays

"Sheela-Na-Gig," by PJ Harvey

 

“This Time There's No Happy Ending," by Television Personalities

10 Nostalgic Songs

As my pre-post internet search for "nostalgic songs" would suggest, nostalgia is a very personal thing. Every similar list I came across was radically different from the last, in terms of genre, time-period, etc. Therefore, perhaps most of what follows is only relevant to my own, narrow experiences, but hopefully there's something here to which you can relate.
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"Losing Haringey," by The Clientele

Remember those long, contemplative walks? Remember that feeling of 1982-ness: dizzy, illogical, as if none of the intervening disasters and wrong turns had happened yet?

"Slide," by Goo Goo Dolls

Remember consolations?

"I Will Remember You," by Sarah McLachlan

Remember the last time we saw each other? I've long associated this one with graduation day...

"Fast Car," by Tracy Chapman

Remember forgetting it all to wild exhilaration?

"You Get What You Give," by New Radicals

Remember the 1990s: Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love, Marilyn Manson? Remember what the Staten Island Mall looked like back then?

"Green and Grey," by New Model Army

Remember the one who got out, sold out?

"Drops of Jupiter," by Train

Remember your best friend always stickin' up for you? The best soy latte that you ever had?

"Late Night, Maudlin Street," by Morrissey

Remember moving away from the street you grew up on?

"Post World War Two Blues," by Al Stewart

Remember your youthful idealism? Which way did the 60's go?

"Talent Show," The Replacements

Remember how cool we all thought we were in our younger, dumber years?
(Hon. nostalgic Placemats mention: "When it Began," of course)

Eleven Ecstatically Happy Songs

To celebrate the return of my favorite childhood confectionery - hot cinnamon tic tacs - there follows a list of all-purpose, ebullient tunes. This should recompense for a previous entry suiting quite the opposite set of moods. Enjoy!
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"Sweet Jane," by The Velvet Underground

I'd call this classic, but then again, I call everything by The Velvet Underground classic.

"All Around You (Intro)," by The Brian Jonestown Massacre

The warm, friendly bit of psychedelic trippiness that kicks-off The Satanic Majesties' Second Request.

"Punk Rock Girl," by The Dead Milkmen

I can't listen to this one without grinning widely. Everything about this is hilarious. Three cheers for the Philadelphian accent!

"Certain People I Know," by Morrissey

Miserablist my arsenal: a song for those days when you can take just about anything with a grain of salt... or sand.

"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)," by Simon and Garfunkel

I listened to this frequently when I first returned to dear old Glasgow. Continuing my education in the city I loved most meant the constant need to stifle spontaneous smiling. "What the fuck is he so happy about?"

"Can't Hardly Wait," by The Replacements

Nervous anticipation, when, after far too long, we finally know for certain that it's all going to turn out wonderfully.

"Change," by The Lightning Seeds

"Oh, you fool, you've got me started..."

"I Kissed a Girl," by Jill Sobule

A convincing little love song for the list.

"The Big Sky," by Kate Bush

"That cloud... that cloud... looks like Ireland!" I likewise tend to spot geopolitical entities in the sky.

"Waiting for the Great Leap Forward," by Billy Bragg

Takes you down before taking you way, way up. This is for all of you dispirited lefties out there: if no one out there understands, start your own revolution and cut out the middle-man!

"Tom Hark," by Elias and his Zig Zag Jive Flutes

Pennywhistle playfulness from South Africa, 1956. Stewart Lee must be a fan.

Kale Tries Zumba

I was six years old when I first expressed an interest in dance. Knowing it was deviant – but not quite knowing why – I told my parents that I wanted to try ballet. Ma, likely bothered by the thought of wee Kelsey in a tutu, forbade this, which could explain why I am about as limber as firewood today. Who knows what would have happened if I enjoyed ballet and became a dancer? Maybe I would have become a world-class ballerino, in that stunning physical shape which always accompanies dance talent. Damned heterosexism.

Throughout High School, I assumed it was cool to dance like Ian Curtis:

And throughout College, I thought Thom Yorke had all the right moves:

In truth, I probably resembled Mark Corrigan:

***

Very recently, when given the option to either try dance or exercise at a local studio, I chose both, in the form of Zumba. I looked-up some clips on YouTube before going. The various dances looked complicated, but I believed that the instructor would teach us the basic moves as we went along. This was not the case. As our instructor explained, she would bellow out the occasional instruction, grunt or sound effect while dancing, but we were mostly advised simply to copy her moves. After assuring my fellow tyros that any movement at all was valid, she cranked-up the volume on her yellow boombox and suddenly started dancing. Everyone joined in. I gave it my best shot.

There were wall-length mirrors directly in front of me, reflecting the moving Zumba instructor; behind her danced the class, slightly delayed, like a string of incompetent back-up performers. I was the worst. While the instructor’s arms appeared to be wooing a potential lover with martial arts, violently declaring amoré, my own flailing arm gesticulations must have resembled one of my old, Israeli uncles trying to haggle-down the price of a used car. My lower body, attempting to imitate the instructor's sexual, feminine struts, instead jerkily frolicked about, a bit like a bunny winning the lettuce lottery, or a young child who really, really needs the bathroom. Hence my attempt at Zumba'ing.